John, from Glasgow, is too drunk to open his eyes and a Jewish girl turned him down.

"What we should really ask is why did they kill Baby Jesus. Ey! Why did they?" He says, getting angrier.

"Do it, John. For me. Just this once." I say.

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

 "Cry freedom."

"That's the thing that gets me," he says and shakes his head with a sigh. "The moment Mel Gibson turns out to be an alcoholic racist, everybody says he must be Scottish."